Losing things

There’s something about losing things

about how you deal with the loss

how you slowly let go while you are still in the process of searching for  it

how you measure the loss, compare it with other things you lost

and realise there are far more serious losses

and that a camera can be replaced easily

no worries

I only had it for four months, I loved it

a Canon G16, a spare battery and 32 Gb SD card in the camera bag

I bought it in Vienna, after my other camera had been dropped of a cliff by accident during a performance I was in, it was quite a spectacular event and the improvised action that led to my camera flying through the air made a lot of sense

Actually I had planned to write about other things today

about how I had found my favorite square in the city already

how I had crossed it yesterday, saw a cafe in the sun but couldn’t find an empty chair

and how today I returned there for a coffee, sunbathed, circled the square, took a flyer from “Bateau Lune”, Moon Boat where the motto above the door says “Don’t forget to play.”

I passed the bar on the corner, bought white and blue thread in one of those shops I love, the ones in which you can buy anything you need, metal hooks and clamps, measuring devices, paper, masks, wooden boxes, fake swords. I left the square, wandered on, send a text message to a friend asking him what would be a good place to meet later on for a drink, not knowing anything about this city. He wrote to me 17.30, Placa de la Virreina. I searched my map. I walked to the square. It was the same one. Of course.

We talked about loss, about losing people, about how to move through your life in the best way possible. We sat on a bench first, then moved into a cafe, drank wine, then walked to another cafe, drank more wine. We left. We walked home. In a way it wasn’t a surprise that we were almost neighbours, only three streets seperating us.

I entered the gallery, my new home, put my bag on the bed, opened it. Didn’t see my camera. Went out again. Retraced my steps. The bench. Nothing. The cafe. Nothing. The other cafe.

There’s something about losing things

the extreme joy you feel when you find what you thought might be lost forever

the way you smile when that happens

the way you walk afterwards

The stones in the street made me think of small autumn leaves

I took a photo