because we do

sweden, 02.00
the sky is still my favorite colour blue
the deep blue before it turns dark
the blue that keeps me awake

today i was interviewed by the swedish radio
i stood on my hands
the world turned me upside down

we are small people in a big world
we often want to be in the middle of it
the center of things
but when you look at us in more detail we are usually on its edges
on edge

the interviewer asked me why i wanted to be in this project
what i was aiming for
and i told her i applied because of the questions that were asked in the application form
they didn’t want to know who I (capital) was and what amazing things I (capital) could produce
but what i could bring to a group, how i would function in relation to different people
what i could teach them, what i could learn from them

our teacher, coach, process leader hasn’t asked us yet what we make
but we all talked for 10 minutes about what made us different from other people
listening to the other 5 i realised i got most excited though when they spoke about something i recognised
something i shared with them, the things that make us human, make us artists, make us vulnerable

today we stood in two small lines, two lines of 3 people on both sides of a dance studio
we ran towards the person opposite of us, almost bumping into the soft body, almost touching
yesterday we took each others arms and treated them as if they belonged to us
a new arm, a strange arm, we explored it in every way possible
later on we made sounds from deep within our body and threw them to all the corners in the room
we are meeting each other in many ways
and tomorrow we finally present our work

the interviewer asked about my work, about what i want to show people
i talked about walking and being slow and trying to make people look at the world in a different way
about showing them you can do whatever you want and if you find the proper word for it you can make a living out of it
or at least live it
when i was younger i said i wanted to turn the world upside down
but why would you?
you better turn people upside down

i am ill-prepared
i stick with Masanobu Fukuoka’s motto:
the best planning is no planning

instead of ordering digital slides and thinking about words
i explored three empty houses on the premises of the Folkshochschule that is hosting us
the houses will be demolished and we can use whatever is inside
i found a map of the area that is so big and heavy i can hardly carry it on my own
i found an apron and some baking tins
i found a bottle of wodka and some beautiful cups
i went for a walk and collected raspberry leaves to dry in order to make tea
i found a cook book with recipies for sweet things
i went to the supermarket and bought flower, butter, sugar, eggs, chocolate

tomorrow i will take them on a walk
i will carry the map on my back and they will walk behind me so they can read it
i will have baked a cake from the cookbook i found and made tea and filled my hipflask with wodka
we will be dressed in white and we will stay close together so we will look like a white dot from above
like the white dot that represents the place where we are staying on the map
i might tell them stories
and we will become a story for the people we encounter on our walk

it will be somewhat crazy
normal people don’t drag huge maps through the streets to find their way
normal people don’t call baking a cake or drinking wodka art
normal people don’t get to know each other by squeezing each other’s body (except in violent situations)

or maybe they do
because we do
i do

therese, valeria, balint

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